Grandkids

My mom keeps doing the, "when are you going to settle down" thing. I'm rarely asked point blank about it but we've skirted the topic a few times and I know it passes through her mind on a semi-regular basis. Frankly its understandable. I'm 25 and haven't had a girlfriend in a depressingly long time (this may have something to do with that bitter thing we keep mentioning).

Personally I do intend to have children at some point but honestly it's a hell of a lot easier to make a baby than it is to find someone to make it with. I've met plenty of nice women but the mistake I consistently make is that I went and got to know them better. Many people seem like a perfect fit for you when you don't know them all that well. After you get beyond the simple things like "I'm a nurse" and "I like walking on the beech" you get into the scary stuff like, "I collect sock monkeys" or "I'm sorry could you repeat that? My other personality was just in charge."

I'll settle down when I find someone who's particular brand of crazy compliments my own collection of neuroses; and that's a tough combination to find. In the meantime if mom wants grandkids she's gonna have to hire me a hooker and poke holes in the condoms.